SURREY ROCKS - NOV/DEC 2026 - Magazine - Page 115
HEART: A GUIDE TO LOVE
like a long evening, ask yourself one honest question....Would
you want this person in your life on an ordinary Tuesday in
March? If the answer is no, you are not building love, you are
building a soft place to land. Now that is allowed, but don't try
and kid yourself so it's also worth knowing what you are doing.
If you are single this Christmas, I want to make a case for
how quietly lovely it can be. There is no performance. No
negotiating whose family comes first. You get to fill your days
with people who leave you lighter. You get to be the friend
who calls, the one who brings the excellent pudding, the one
who knows exactly what music the drive home needs. That
person you become when you stop waiting to be chosen is
genuinely magnetic. Not because it manipulates anyone into
choosing you, but because joy looks good on everybody.
If you are dating someone new, a warning dressed as good
news. Christmas accelerates everything. A few weeks of mulled
wine and shared plans can feel like depth when it is really
just intensity. Try one thing. Do not let the season decide the
pace. Meet their people if you want to, but do not panic if
you would rather not yet. Say the slightly awkward sentence
early, the one about what you are looking for, so you both
know what page you are on. Being wanted is lovely. Being
understood is the part that lasts.
For those of you in a long partnership, the festive weeks are
a pressure test. Money, families, traditions, the unspoken rule
about who always does the wrapping. Small irritations grow in
small rooms. The most romantic thing you can do in December
is get specific and gentle. Say the thing out loud in a sentence
rather than three sharp sighs. Split the load in advance. Then
protect a small piece of time that belongs to nobody but the
two of you, even if it is half an hour on a walk with no phones.
Love is rarely broken by one big thing. It is usually protected
by a hundred small, deliberate ones.
And for the family questions, here is a script, use it
freely. "I am happy, and that is enough for now." You do
not owe anyone the timeline of your life over a plate of
SURREYROCKS | ISSUE 56 115
